Christmas Crash

Everyone who is Christmas crashing, raise your hand!

I know it's not just me.  I have a sneaking suspicion that pretty much all of us overdid it for the holidays.

Christmas is a time of reflection for me, a time for taking stock.  What I learned this year is that, although CFS is not supposed to be a progressive disease, it has certainly been progressive for me.  Each year, I have gotten worse and worse, and I've been able to do less and less.  All I accomplished this year was shopping, and most of that was done online.  Even so, by Christmas morning, I felt like I had just run a marathon and could barely crawl across the finish line.  I ended up taking an hour and a half rest in the morning and another hour rest in the afternoon, and I still felt miserable well into the evening.  I was grateful my family went to my in-laws without me, even while I was sad to miss out on the fun.

I suppose the good news is that I felt much better yesterday, so I didn't stay horribly crashed too long.  I'm happy to get back to my regular routine, you know, the one where I'm actually taking care of myself.  I love Christmas, but this isn't the Christmas I remember.  Once again, I find myself packing it away and saying to myself, "Next year has to be better."

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and that it was a time well worth it!  And here's to a healthier New Year for us all.

More Like a Thud than a Crash

Let's call it the year of learning about Christmas. Let's call it trial and error and error and error. Let's promise ourselves that next year will be better ... and we'll keep this post in cyberspace for reference to make sure that happens.

In review: Parade -- not necessary, certainly not worth it. It lasted way too long and my kids only enjoyed the floats that were throwing candy. Selfishness at the beginning of Christmas is not the way to start out.

Decorating -- worth it. Especially when I let the kids take over. For the first time, I didn't fuss too much over where the snow village would be or where to make our little Santa's village. And the kids easily did as well as I would have.

Church Christmas party -- worth it! It was short and simple and delicious with a true Christmas spirit about it.

Kids' Christmas choir concert -- I think I'll let Rom do this one next time. The girls did a great job, but the choir director is crazy! It was way too long -- over an hour and a half -- and it was on backless benches. It killed me.

Cookies -- all right. This is a tough one! This tradition is beloved by everyone who gets our fabulous Christmas cookies. My family loves the look on their faces when we show up at the door. The only problem? I was the little red hen this year -- "Who wants to help bake the cookies?" "Not I" said the children in unison. I did too much of the work. Next year, I can start in November and freeze cookies, and I can give the children better assignments. I don't want to have to sit out the fun part of delivering next time because I'm too wiped out.

Tree -- I threatened to buy a fake tree next year. This was very disappointing to me. I need to find a way to start the outing off on the right foot. If I can't do that, Rom and I will get it ourselves next year.

Children's Christmas program -- worth it! But only if it isn't sandwiched between other activities. Then I'll have to let Rom handle it.

Nightly Christmas stories -- worth it, but we may need to expand our selection. The kids are getting bored with the same ones every year.

Caroling -- this was a new one. It's not a tradition, so it can go, if I'm not up to it. I love the smiles on people's faces, though, when we show up. We'll see.

And through it all, I need to focus on the simple symbols of Christmas that bring joy to my heart and remind me what this is all about. I lost that this year, and I don't want it to happen again.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Christmas

I love finding just the right gift for the people I love!

I hate fighting the increasingly rude crowds for the best holiday deals.

I love all the lights and decorations!

I hate the energy it takes to put them all up and take them all down. I also hate the feeling that I need my house CLEAN so I can enjoy the decorations.

I love all the Christmas goodies! I even love baking cookies for the whole neighborhood.

I hate taking on the task solo. It looms large before I get to it, and I have too much anticipatory fear.

I love our church Christmas party and the kids cute Christmas programs!

For about the first 15 minutes.

I love Christmas music! I love discovering new and unusual songs and artists.

Nothing to hate here!

I love spending time with my extended family! It is so cute to watch the cousins get together -- it's like a cross between best friends and siblings, only better.

I hate fading half way through the fun and feeling wiped out days later.

I love reading our favorite Christmas stories!

I hate it when the kids are goofy and annoying right as I'm starting to get weepy.

I love inward, spiritual thoughts and quiet times to reflect. I love reminders of my blessings. I love feeling I have an abundant life. I love moments of joy.