Getting My Feet Wet

Well, I said I was going to start taking my writing seriously, and so I've begun! On my writer's blog, I've posted the beginning of a new short story. I would love to have you check it out and give me your impressions -- did the opening effectively "hook" you, were my descriptions effective, did it leave you wanting to read more?

Check it out at:

http://shelli-proffitt-howells.blogspot.com/2010/01/calling-all-critics.html