“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Did anyone need a little pick me up today?

The Laughter Movie

Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Question for the Ladies

Guys, you can skip this post if a little TMI makes you uncomfortable.

All right, ladies: Is it just me? That time of the month seems to make my CFS symptoms so much worse. Everything is magnified, and the progress I've worked so hard for fades away for the week. The headaches, the fatigue, the moodiness, the achiness -- it's like PMS intensifies my CFS and CFS intensifies my PMS.

Have any of you found a way to tame the beast and keep the suffering at a minimum? Any strategies for holding on to the progress you've made during this time?

Friday, March 26, 2010

So True

"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent." ~Jean Kerr

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

And One More!

Wow, I've been out on the web making friends lately! I am also nominating Surprising Me for a Happiness Award. Stop by and say hi!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Did You Know Chocolate Helps CFS?

That's what they say, anyway! And I love any excuse for a little chocolate. In celebration of the wonderfulness of chocolate, I found this fabulous blog:

Dying For Chocolate

It's full of yummy recipes using chocolate. Just make sure it's a high percentage dark chocolate to get the full antioxidant benefits. I'm including it on my sidebar, if you ever want to visit again.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Feeling Happy

Thank you, Forgetful Girl, for nominating me for this prestigious and mood lifting award!

The rules:
1.)When you have received this award you must thank the person that awarded you this in the new post.

2.) Name 10 things that make you happy
3.) Pass this award onto other bloggers and inform the winners

So, without further ado, here are ten things, in no particular order, that make me happy.

1. The sound of my kids' laughter. I know I've mentioned this before, but there's just something about having a relaxed, easy feel in our home and hearing my kids' deep belly laughs that reassures me. I have felt how much CFS has handcuffed me as a parent, and it's good to know that they aren't that screwed up by it.

2. Making love to my husband, in all its various forms.

3. The beach. I have so many, thousands, of memories surrounding the beach, and all of them are perfect happiness.

4. Roasted marshmallows. My dad taught me how to make the perfect roasted marshmallow: finding the best coals, turning it around just right so it never catches on fire, ending up with a beautiful marshmallow brown and bubbly and crispy on the outside and a delicious gooey mess on the inside.

5. Sticky rice and mango. My husband and I went to a Thai restaurant for the first time on our 10th anniversary (many moons ago). We were stuffed, but the waitress was insistent to the point of rudeness that we try this dessert. It was pure heaven! It has never tasted quite as wonderful since, but I enjoy the quest to find that perfection again.

6. Wildflowers. Such surprising color in the most unlikely of places.

7. Reading. I almost said "reading a good book," but the bad ones are almost as fun, too!

8. Writing a scene and capturing the perfect emotion. The rest of writing can be torture, but getting something just right is exhilarating.

9. Sunshine and blue skies. There's a reason I live in Southern California! I can't stand the gray blah of winter elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I know the snow is really pretty... the first day. It just gets old fast.

10. Learning. It is my safety blanket and muse. The first thing I did when I suspected I had CFS was research everything I could. It was comforting to me, giving me a (perhaps false) sense of control. I also love that "aha!" moment when something clicks and makes sense. For example, I just learned that the reason I hated The Lord of the Rings was because I'm not a milieu person. Go figure!

I could go on -- and I will, just one more thing. My blogger friends make me happy. I couldn't survive this illness without you. You inspire me, give me hope, teach me, and amaze me. There is so much strength and compassion in this community, and I lean on you more than you know.

I'm going to pass this award on to a few people new to our blog community that I've recently discovered.

Alison at blog Wormwood
Lee Lee at CFS 'n' gay
Chris at sickandtired
Alex at Life with ME/CFS (aka the Cabbage Stalk)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Orthostatic Intolerance is hosting an upcoming webinar on orthostatic intolerance. You can find out more information at

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Learning to Dance in the Rain

Click here:

Learning to Dance in the Rain

How I dance in the rain:

I lie in bed listening to my boys play and giggle.
I curl up on the couch and watch my favorite shows with my husband.
I read good books.
I connect with and gain strength from you.
I eat my lunch outside when it's sunny so I can feel the sun on my face.
I hug my kids a lot.
I find funny things to laugh at.
I welcome people who come to visit.
I play World of Warcraft.
I keep an emergency supply of chocolate.

How do you dance in the rain?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Going to the Well

Hello, my cyber fount of knowledge! I have a question for all of you. Has anybody tried any homeopathic remedies for CFS? What has been your experience? Thank you!!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Tender Mercies

I came across this on Facebook today. I think there are some of us struggling lately who may want a little comfort. Although it is from my religion, LDS, it is a universally Christian message. I hope you don't mind my sharing it.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

After the Storm


Such pain in my heart today. I try so hard to endure it well, to hold onto hope, to find joy in the journey. Sometimes it just bubbles out of me. Of course this journey is difficult and painful. Giving in once in awhile doesn't negate my handling the situation with patience and grace. It's simply choosing not to deny the reality of the situation.

This is real suffering. That doesn't mean that there is not merit to it, that there isn't an abundance of joy. It's simply acknowledging that this sucks.

I think I started crying not because I realized that this sucks, but because I felt God acknowledging to my heart that this sucks. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I hurt. Yes, every moment of every day is a struggle. Yes, I want to be more. No. I can't.

Perhaps it's a reminder to be gentle. I can't beat myself up over what I cannot control. Pushing myself over little things is counterproductive, short term, not big picture. They are not as important as I am. Rom tries to remind me of that. Even with my limitations, he tells me, I am important to them. Now, my Father is telling me the same thing. I am important to Him.

I will take it easy today. I will be gentle. I will do one thing at a time. If I only do one thing, that is OK.