“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


After 2 1/2 months of XMRV treatment, I definitely feel better.  My need for rest has diminished quite a bit.  I still force myself to lie down twice a day, but I'm often antsy and peeking at the clock around the 20-minute marker.  I am sleeping less.  I don't seem to require 10 hours of sleep in order to feel good.  Often, I will wake at 6 am after 7-8 hours sleep, and I'll be unable to doze again. 

I feel uplifted, happy, almost exhilarated.  I find myself smiling a lot more.  It's like a weight, a fog has lifted from me.

I still have to be careful with activity.  I shopped WalMart the week before Easter.  It was way too big an outing for me; I should have started with something small, like a trip to the corner grocery store.  But I find that I'm chomping at the bit, eager to push the envelope just a little bit to see what happens.  Did I crash?  Um, yes, yes I did.  It was a big one, but it only lasted one day.  A crash like that would have normally taken me at least a week to recover from, if I indeed ever fully recovered.

I'm doing more around the house.  Not that much more, but noticeably.  It's interesting how I had unconsciously been conserving energy, calculating the most energy-efficient way to do anything.  I watched my husband put on his shoes one morning.  He picked one up, untied it, set it down, did the same with the other shoe.  Then he picked up the first shoe, put it on, and put on the other shoe.  I was amazed that he didn't realize that he was wasting so much energy by putting the shoe down and picking it up again.  I never would have done that!  Likewise, I always made a beeline for the nearest chair whenever I entered the room.  If the phone rang, I'd wait until one of the children handed it to me.

Yet, twice this week -- twice! -- I found myself pacing while talking on the phone.

The other thing that I've noticed is that I am tolerating social interactions much better. I've been out to dinner with my husband twice without any negative repercussions.  My sister-in-law dropped by and stayed a couple of hours.  I was exhausted, but it didn't cause a crash.  I can handle a drop-in visitor for about an hour now.  Talking on the phone is still challenging; I'm good for about 45 minutes of that.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying creative pursuits with my writing, and I've started using essential oils for symptom relief.  I haven't been using them long enough to report anything, but so far I've found a couple that seem promising for pain and stomach problems.

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there!