“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Thursday, October 28, 2010


So, I called VIP Dx to see how things were going with the testing.  For some reason, I was a little panicked since I hadn't heard anything from them.  I thought maybe they hadn't received my samples, or they got there too late, or they had been rejected for some reason.  I didn't want to drag the wait out longer than needed.

None of the above had occurred.  Instead, they're backlogged, and instead of four to five weeks, it will take six to eight weeks to find out the results.  Hey, I've waited over four years, what's another week or four, right?  At least I know that something is happening.

It made me think of all the activities that are backlogged in my life.  All the have to's and ought to's that are piling up because I just don't have the energy to get to them in a timely manner.  And then, all the way at the back of the line, so far back I can't see most of them, are my want to's.  Backlogged into oblivion. 

Maybe I should throw caution to the wind and escort one of those end-of-the-liners right up to the front of the line.  If I could only remember what they were.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Better Than Expected

Tuesday was a Very Big Day.  I thought I had it all planned out.  Parent/teacher conferences for four of my kids.  I went to the boys' conferences first.  They were back to back, one at 1 pm, the other twenty minutes later.  Less than an hour total, not bad.  A little more walking around than I'm used to -- it's a pretty big campus for an elementary school, and parking was atrocious.  Still, I felt pretty proud of myself for weathering it well.  I took a long, deeply relaxed rest.  Geared up for the evening conferences.

I thought I would be able to finish in an hour.  I was so sorely mistaken.  Lines were backed up to see each teacher, and it dragged on for two hours.  I came home exhausted, wiped out, fearful, and angry.  I hate what CFS does to me sometimes.  I was just trying to be a good mom.  I wouldn't have put myself through that if there weren't important issues to discuss.

I went to bed, tossed and turned for about an hour, and finally drifted off to sleep.

I felt the effects immediately the next day.  Good news?  I didn't dare hope.  I defiantly recuperated.  I didn't stretch or yoga or make my bed or do laundry.  I read books, played on the computer, and watched TV.  I rested a little more than usual.  My afternoon rest was deep, to the bones.

The next day, I could still feel the effects, but not quite as bad.  Hm.  Still, I forced myself to do nothing.  Except I think I made my bed.  Yesterday, I could tell I was doing better.  I made my bed and added a load of laundry.  And today?  I've already made my bed, started a load of laundry, and I'm contemplating folding the two baskets of clothes that have been neglected for a week.  Plus, I had enough energy to boss the kids around and have them tidy the house.  My front room is ready for a little decorating.  I think I need to find the animated haunted house I've kept in storage.

I so worried that this would be a big event, one that would kick my sorry butt back to square one.  Instead, it seems like I'm having a very normal post-exertional malaise reaction.  Bouncing back to baseline already.  Whew.  I'll let go of some of that anger now. 

Still waiting on test results.  VIP Dx says it takes five weeks to get results back.  Five freaking weeks.  I guess if I've waited four years, I can wait another five weeks, eh?