“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Saturday, January 3, 2009

This Is My Brain on CFS

I have a confession. I am a certified, Mensa-qualified genius. Out of eight kids in my family, I was the smart one, the one who always did well in school. I tell you this not to brag, but as a point of reference.

This is something you do not hear about very much about CFS. We call it the weird brain thing, or just my crazies. The first thing I noticed was having a difficult time recalling names, even with people I've known and loved for years. Then, I started forgetting things on my short mental shopping list. It really freaked me out when I was driving to a friend's and I took a really weird, out of the way left turn. It took me a minute to figure out where I was going.

It's pretty commonplace now. I've left the shower with only one leg shaved. I've forgotten to shampoo before conditioning. I've wandered to the pantry only to stand there, wondering what I could have wanted so badly I'd leave my steaming hot chocolate on the table. Last night I forgot to put my pajama pants on -- walked to bed with just a short shirt. Thank goodness I've never left the house that way! My kids and I play a game called, "Guess what Mommy's really trying to say." Does "Put your clothes in the dishwasher" mean "Put your clothes in the laundry" or "Put your dishes in the dishwasher"? See, it's an adventure! You just don't know.

So, we laugh. I let my husband and kids tease me. It's probably good to be humbled about something you've always taken pride in, anyway. It makes my "lucid moments" all the more worth celebrating.