“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Price of Overconfidence

I was thinking about the phrase "bill of health" and it made me think of the tab I ran up yesterday.

1. I worked at the store all day yesterday. I only had two customers, so it was pretty quiet. I realized by the end of the day, I still felt pretty good! I was feeling pretty confident. (cha-ching)

2. I then went to my book club. I love my book club! The books we read are so interesting, and even if I didn't like the book that month, the discussions are always so fantastic. Unfortunately, we had a small group, so the discussion was a little tepid this time. It wasn't as fun as usual, but we got out of there a little early. I was still feeling pretty confident. (cha-ching)

3. I came home and unwinded by curling up on the couch and watching "Survivor." It's pretty mindless entertainment. I was thinking I should probably get to bed when it was over, but I convinced myself to stay up for "The Office" next. Then, I stayed up for "30 Rock," even though I don't really even like that show very much. A little voice started a warning. Regret was waiting on the sidelines, tsk tsking. (cha-ching)

4. I thought I'd put my post-exertional malaise theory to the test. I was still awake when my daughter came home late from work, so I chatted with her about how her day went. I ended up getting to bed about two hours past my usual time. (cha-ching)

And ... boy am I paying for it today! I was lying in bed dreaming this morning that it was getting later and later and I needed to get up, but fatigue weighed so heavily upon me that it was like I was in a coma and could not even force my eyes open to check the clock. I was finally awakened by the telephone ringing at 10 am. On my good days, I'm up at 7 or 8 am after nine to 10 hours of sleep. I languish in bed for a little while, but I don't feel sleepy. I panic if I'm not up by 9 am; that usually means difficulty getting to sleep that night. This time, it had been over 11 hours, and I still felt groggy. I was achy all over, I was dying of thirst, and there was just a hint of a sore throat. I wasn't even up to my morning yoga, and I didn't make it into the shower until noon.

Thank goodness it's Friday! At least I can get all the rest I need to bounce back tomorrow without having the alarm going off for school. I hope I'm feeling better, because Vons is having a really good sale tomorrow, and I would like to be able to feed my family.