“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Monday, April 19, 2010

Too Much, Too Fast

Yeah, I'm probably the only one who has done that, right?

In fact, I bet most of you were expecting this post after my last, highly optimistic post.

What is it about a sudden burst of energy that catapults us into unsustainable activity?  Tsk, tsk, I should know better by now.

Well, I certainly took advantage of feeling a bit better.  Pain has become a bigger issue for me lately, and so I revved up my exercise program a little to counteract it.  Nothing aerobic, of course -- just a bit more stretching and strengthening.  I have to admit, it felt soooo good!  I just should have taken it a little more slowly, and not added quite as much as quickly as I did.

The other problem I ran into was a renewed interest in cooking.  I've always enjoyed cooking -- not every night, necessarily, but I loved trying new recipes and using my lovely family as guinea pigs.  Plus, since  my new haircut, I decided I wanted to lose a little weight to look even more fabulous.  Since I can't exercise my way down to my goal, that means eating better.

I discovered some wonderful freezer recipes, and I could not contain my enthusiasm.  I've made Lazy Lasagna, Ham and Cheese Ziti, Spinach Soup, Chili, Tex Mex Rice Casserole, and Chicken Divan.  (I've got all the recipes on my recipe blog, The Flagging Chef.)  So, now I have eight dinners and seven lunches in the freezer, ready for those nights when I don't feel up to cooking and usually order pizza.  They are all pretty easy recipes.  I did all right on those days I had my kids helping me cook.  I got a little crazy and made the Tex Mex Rice Casserole all by myself, and that was a big mistake.

Add to that a big stressor for me:  We're going to have someone come in and clean once a month.  She came over for an initial consultation on Friday.  I am humiliated by my home.  Back in the day, I took pride in the fact that although my house was occasionally cluttered (six kids, you know), it was never dirty.  Now, once you get past the clutter, it is very dirty underneath.  This is long overdue, but getting started is a horribly emotional ordeal for me.  She starts on Wednesday; I know the payoff will be worth it.

So, I'm not exactly in a crash.  That alone tells me I'm still on the mend.  I just need to remember that the road to recovery is a bumpy old thing.  I need to slow down and scale back a little.  Be gentle with myself.  Have a little chocolate.


Renee said...

Hi Shelli
Glad to hear you can have someone one in once a month. It is the best thing we ever did for Joel and myself. Less pressure on us both. We have someone twice a month but are thinking of going down to once a month with costs...
Hang in there and REST when you can...those nasty crashes are too quick to show up. CFS is very unforgiving!
To quote a friend..."Feeling better is dangerous"!

Dominique said...

Wow Shelli! I could have written this post! LOL! I think the reason I overdo, is because I so want TO DO! It really is that basic for me. I just want to engage more!

You meals sound yummy!

I like the freezer idea. I use it when I make soups, chili, stew, or whatever when I get extra stuff in my veggie bag from my co-op.

I hope your 'mend' continues on the upward spiral! :-)

Sue Jackson said...

Yes, Shelli, we have all been there - we all seem destined to learn this lesson over and over and over and get the idea! It's so hard not to overdo when you finally get some energy.

Sounds like you got some great meals in the freezer - just think how easy it will be now when you have a bad day and can't face the kitchen. I also love to cook and try new recipes, so I totally understand. I often make double batches of something on the weekends and freeze half.

Please, please don't feel bad about the state of your house. It's wonderful that you'll have help now, and NO ONE with CFS can handle cleaning on his or her own - it's just too exerting. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I explained to my cleaners that I have a chronic illness and can't manage on my own, but most professional cleaners have probably seen houses in much worse shape than yours!

Take care of yourself and enjoy that chocolate...


Dawn said...

This is so typical of how I handle this. I get that much needed burst of energy and mentally feel like I must get as much accomplished as possible. I'm glad that it didn't set you back any further.

The meals are a great idea and I'm checking out your recipe blog now.

As far as your house goes, I'm so glad you are able to have someone come in and help you. My house also USED to be wonderfully clean (yes we had clutter also) - but it was CLEAN. Now, it's a struggle to keep the clutter up, much less actually scrub a bathroom - nope not happening any longer.

Try to remember, what really matters, a clean house is not at the top of the list - but I do know what a relief it will be to have the help.

Anonymous said...

Shelli ~

"What is it about a sudden burst of energy that catapults us into unsustainable activity? Tsk, tsk, I should know better by now."

Nah, you may never learn! I never have! 12 years with this dd. But it CAN get better.

I pushed myself to start walking back when (2001), could only do 1/4 of a mile very slowly. Didn't give up (the key!). Now I walk 5k, FAST, three mornings a week, AND weight train for 30 minutes three mornings a week!!! Except when I can't cuz of a crashy. Rare though these days!

Love your writing!


Anonymous said...

Oh..those sudden bursts of energy can certainly get us in trouble! I looked at some of your recipes and I will certainly be trying one or two of them soon. Love reading you!