“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Walking Through a Meadow

I feel so sorry for people without CFS.

That's right, I said it.  And I seriously mean it.

My husband took my boys camping last night for the Fathers and Sons event that our church does every year.  The boys are always excited about it.  They love spending time with their dad.  The girls and I, meanwhile, do a Girls Night Out.  Except this year they went out and brought it all home to me: Mexican food, smoothies, a movie, and Twizzlers.  We had a good time.

Well, it's barely past 9 am, and my husband came home with the boys!  What the...?  Apparently they got bored and wanted to come home.  My two youngest are already playing video games, and my oldest is in the shower.

Now, I remember camping as a kid.  It was not action packed all the time.  I loved sitting under the trees, listening to the birds, feeding squirrels and chipmunks, reading a book.  Sometimes we went for a hike or played a board game together.  Overall, it was pretty laid back.  And relaxing.  And soothing.  I loved it.

How sad that my guys couldn't decompress like that.  And suddenly, I thought -- I feel sorry for people without CFS.  They are always going, going, going, and they miss so much of life because of it.  It is like they are traveling by plane everywhere they go, but I am wandering slowly through a meadow.  Sure, they get farther and get more done.  But I see more beauty and find miraculous things along the way.


Dominique said...

Wow! I have often thought the very same thing.

Sadly, if I got well, I'd probably jump back into the speed race without a glance backwards! sigh...

PJ said...

I know what you mean! I know mom's in my mom's group that go-go-go. The ONLY time they're home is for naps. The plan playdates in the morning; lunch meet-ups, park in the afternoon. They're teaching their kids the same thing. I'm almost glad Adam is learning to live slower, play & entertain himself.

Anonymous said...

Shelli ~

I had to chuckle about your boys wanting to come home! I remember many occasions like that when my girls were little! I think it is a sign of good parenting not to force your kids to do something they are really not into. It's great that they gave it a try.

I loved your positive outlook about CFIDS, because it is so true! And I feel the same way very often! Not only that, but how much I have grown spiritually because of it, and how much patience I have gained, and how it it forcing me to continue learning more self love...

Renee said...

Yes, this is definitely a gift that comes from CFS ~ glad you and your girls had such a good time!

Jo said...

LOL, I like Dominique's honesty about jumping back into the race. I'd be exactly the same. But maybe I'd be able to keep something of what I learned with CFS with me. Our posts are full of details that I think others miss.

BTW - I may do a post about TENS inspired by your comment. I haven't got around to answering it yet. Too much to do. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think I would still be a slow mover if I got well. I have become so used to thinking things through, taking it easy, not overdoing it...and this is my norm now. When I look back and remember how I was before, I realize my life was a blur of activities that were not so important anyway. I have a girlfriend that always wants to come and visit, but she can't seem to find an extra hour in a week because she is so busy. I don't want that anymore. I agree with you Shelli, let's wander through a meadow and see what we can discover, and at our own pace. We can even take a nap if we need too.

Melanie said...

I'm really enjoying your blog. This one really touched on something I've been working through lately and you helped me turn the corner in my thinking about "meadow walking" vs. jetsetting. Thank you!

I've just written a blog - spurred on by yours titled "Busy is not in my Vocabulary" and I quoted you and liked back to your blog. Hope that is Ok :-)


Kerry said...

Hi Shelli--Yes, the silverlining of CFS--we don't miss the simple things and the simple things are everything! What a fun and happy post.

Daughter nights--what memories this post has sprung. Once my daughters when they were young teens and I went to a nearby motel for mother's day--a pretty one on the river. We brought games and my hubby dropped by dinner and goodies. I could rest on the beds while having a blast and getting to know my daughters even better...because CFS gives us plenty of time to talk and listen.

When the kids were little (I had CFS then too), we'd have slumber parties on weekends--all sleeping in the family room, movies, goodies and cuddles, the best of life.

Thank you Shellie. I'm smiling at the memories and want to keep on thinking as you are...this illness brings us straight to what's important in life. Your family sounds like a wonderful bunch!

Lori said...

What a great way to look at things! You know what? You are so right on. We don't appreciate what we've got, do we? I just love this post.

Hope you're doing okay. I'm here, reading and lurking. :)

Vanessa said...

What a wonderful perspective! A foremost expert on CFS, Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, has just put out a new book called Beat Sugar Addiction Now: It is written in a simple style and outlines his easy to follow, multi-step plan. He begins by identifying 4 main types of sugar addicts and then outlines a specific plan for each type of addict to follow. He explains how sugar plays into the problems suffered by each kind of addict and goes into detail when clearly and succinctly explaining how to beat the cravings. While Teitelbaum does not provide recipes or meal plans, he does give guidelines for healthy eating and lists of recommended foods as well as the glycemic index for many common foods.This book would probably be helpful not only to people attempting to lose weight, but also to those with illnesses such as Type II Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, just to name a few. Though Teitelbaum is a medical doctor and is clearly coming from a medical background, he writes in layman's terms and creates a book that will be easily understood by most people.