49 Things I've Accomplished

Looks like I'm halfway there!

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo 

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (not enough patience to wait in that line!)

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone Rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep-sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone Whale Watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check 

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Publish a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on NYE

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Gotten a tatoo

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

The Summer Of No!

I've noticed a pattern in my CFS life.  I avoid the hard "no."  This would be anything where someone else's needs are in conflict with my own. 

Say I'm determined to get to bed earlier, but my husband is enjoying my company as we sit together on the couch watching TV.  I love sitting on the couch with my husband watching TV.  So, I end up going to bed one or two hours later than I should have.

Or maybe one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Mom, can I _____?" (insert activity that requires me to drive them somewhere.)  I already have so much guilt over all the nos I've already said, so even if I'm tired, I'll probably say yes.

The hardest of all, now that summer is here, are the invitations.  Weekly swim parties.  A Fourth of July barbecue.  Family dinners.  I so badly want to say yes!  Maybe if I pace before and after?  I don't know.  The best thing is for me to Just Say No.  I may be able to tolerate a tiny bit of yes, if I limit it to one hour or less, once in awhile.  But I'm afraid I'm going to have to learn to embrace the hard "no."

So, here it is:  No, I cannot make family functions right now, unless it's a once in a lifetime event, like my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary.  Even that, I'm taking off early.  No, I can't make it to your party.  No, I can't drive you places.  No, I can't stay up any later.  No, I can't.

Embracing the Summer of No!

Lessons from Nemo

I love the movie "Finding Nemo."  I think it is one of those rare films that is not only darling and entertaining, but contains tons of hidden nuggets of wisdom.  While watching it the other day, one particular scene struck a chord with me.

After facing such obstacles as sharks, sea monsters, and jelly fish, Marlin and Dorie find themselves very near the end of their journey.  All they have to do is find Sydney, Australia.  Dorie gets the idea to ask for directions, and they end up being swallowed by a whale.

Inside the mouth of the whale, Marlin flings himself repeatedly against the unmoving baleen barrier between him and freedom.  Of course, it is essentially hitting his head against the wall, and he makes absolutely no progress.  Meanwhile, Dorie is riding the swells of water that carry her to and fro with unabashed glee.

Neither of them knows, at that moment, what the intentions of the whale are.  Neither knows what the outcome will be.  They could be safe, or they could be in grave danger.  They just can't know what will happen next until it happens.

Ultimately, the whale turns out to be a friend, and the ride in the whale's mouth is a shortcut to where they were trying to get all along.

I think everyone in life, at some point, finds himself swallowed by a whale.  You are going along just find, living your life in the direction of your choosing, when something unexpected happens.  You are thwarted.  Your life takes an unwanted detour.  Health issues, a lost job, relationship problems, a wayward child -- hey, I didn't ask for this!

I would never want to give up Marlin's determination.  But there is a lot to be said for Dorie's  abandonment, rolling with it, going with the flow, finding joy in a seemingly joyless situation.  I think you have to have a talent of forgetting, like she did.  You have to let go of the pain long enough to be happy.

I think that may be why people with faith find it easier to shoulder such burdens.  We know the whale; we know He is benevolent and good and only wants what's best for us.  I believe that at the end of the journey, we can look back and see that it was a shortcut, after all.  Maybe not a shortcut to where we wanted to go, but certainly a shortcut to whom we wanted to become.