“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Taking Its Toll

We are moving to a new home at the end of this month.  I am very happy and excited about the move.  So many pluses -- it's single story, it has a pool, I can leave so much clutter behind.  And yet, there is that dreaded process of getting there. 

Oh, how I hate to move!  It challenged me to my limits before I got sick.  I know I need to pace myself and leave most of the work to my husband, my kids, and my lovely, helpful friends, but still, it is taking its toll.  Already the stress is biting in to my sleep.  It takes longer to fall asleep, and once I stir awake, there is no way to doze off again.  I have that nagging feeling that I should be doing something, even if I know I really shouldn't.  I feel the days ticking by like seconds on a bomb.  Are we going to make it in time?  Is it possible to get this done?

I see an inevitable crash at the end of the tunnel.  But I also see a wonderful new place for me to rest and recuperate afterward.

Any tips?  I'd welcome any ideas for getting through the next two weeks.


Stacy said...

Hi, Shelli--

That's a tough one! From what you've said, you have some good help coming with the "heavy lifting" part of moving, and it sounds like it's all the emotional heavy lifting that's taking its toll. To help keep stress down I've had some good success with self-hypnosis recordings--guided relaxation, really. has a lot to choose from for $9 or so. The man who records them has a voice to swoon over. (Don't bother w/ the CFS one--it's relaxing and rather lovely, but obviously not effective!)

Can you tolerate medications? A muscle relaxer at night can help with the wakefulness--not so much w/ getting to sleep, but more w/ staying asleep. I swear by them.

I think one of the hardest things about needing help is having to relinquish control over so much--very stressful in its own right.

Oh--and adrenal supplements (made from bovine adrenal cortex, not the herbal "support" supplements) have been helpful for me, too.

Sorry to get all bossy on you. :) Hang in there! That new place sounds wonderful!

willywagtail said...

Sometimes I have found that in order to do something or enjoy something I have to accept the inevitability of the following crash. Accepting it takes a lot of the worry out of the situation for me. Also, remember to treat yourself like an invalid. You have an absolute need to rely on the help of others and, without overdoing it, they need to know and accept that. It's tough but it's just how things are for us. Hugs Cherrie

Unknown said...

ugh - I feel your discrepant feelings! The new place sounds fantastic! And I wouldn't want to move for anything. No advise for you - just be prepared for the crash. My thoughts & prayers coming your way! (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

I've moved so many times since over the past few years, I've moved from Australia to the North Island of New Zealand and then a few years later I changed islands (with a 10 week old). What I found worked for me was:
- start early, every day pack one box, if your able pack two
- work in one area, bookcase, a kitchen cupboard, bedroom draw, don't move from one area of a room to another
- have a pile of boxes, tap, scissors, newspaper, bubble wrap, marker etc in the room you are working on, right near where you are going to pack and have someone else bring these items to their locations
- pack your boxes in an organized way so that they can be clearly labeled (kitchen - plastic cupboard, bedroom - chest of draws, linen cabinet - top shelf etc) this means that others can unpack these items for you and know exactly where to put them.
- at both ends of the move have 2 large boxes next to you, one for rubbish and one for paper recycling, if you can limit your cleanup later that will help a great deal
- accept all offers of help but have a clear, written down plan for the packing and unpacking, this means that people dont have to ask you so many questions, which I find tiering, have a list of easy things for people to do like cleaning the bathroom of the old house or new house, whipping down the shelves in cupboards
- if you can afford it, the best moves we ever had where when we paid for a team of movers, this was low stress, low energy waste for both hubby and I and much better, faster and more useful help then having friends help and I really can't encourage you to do this enough and it's not as expensive as some people think
- usual, rest as often as possible, don't be afraid to issue orders, delegate-delegate-delegate.

Good luck it sounds really worth it, I'd kill for a pool out my door.

Renee said...

Pacing, meditation, letting go, letting go letting go...accepting that a crash will come...that you can unpack at your own pace...easier that packing...
Are you having to box everything or is it in the same town? That will help...Starting early? Purge purge purge..
Otherwise I don'thave much advice. I hve been waking and not going back to sleep a couple of times this past week and I hate miserable the next day~
will keep you in prayer.

Sue Jackson said...

Sorry, Shelli, I don't have any fabulous tips - I can't even imagine attempting to move from our current house! Too much stuff!! Though the chance to clear clutter would be wonderful.

What I can offer is just emotional support. Remember to take care of yourself first or you won't be able to help at all. Accept any and all help!

You are in my thoughts and my prayers during this difficult time, Shelli -


Renee said...

I forgot to add something we always do. We have moved over 20 times in 42 yrs...On each and every box we write what room in the new house it goes into and in general what is in it so we don't waste time telling people where it goes.. or need to open every box to find what we are looking for. We always unpack the kitchen first after beds are set up. Often I would write something like, SW corner Blue Bedroom In Box: bedding, pillows, etc. Or whose clothes, etc.
What Tracy wrote was really helpful I thought. I used to love not so much ;)

Shelli said...

Oh, my gosh, you guys are amazing! Thank you so much for such good information, and more importantly, for your caring support. It helps more than you know.

Anonymous said...

I can't even imagine how hard it would be and how much it would hurt physically to move!!! And I know exactly what you mean about not being able to go back to sleep once you wake up in the middle of the night. It is the worst. It can cost you your entire next day, or at least the first half of it.

If life is in a less stressful place, for me, taking half a 5 mg. valium, or taking 1/2 a dose of Simply Sleep will often get me back to sleep in the wee hours and still allow me to wake up and function at 7 a.m. That's the only advice I can think of for you Shelli. And it probably is no help at all!

Just keep focusing on the outcome of all of this: A wonderful new home!


Sue Jackson said...

Hey, Shelli -

Just wanted to make sure you've seen this as it addresses potential treatment options for XMRV: