“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Monday, February 15, 2010

Inch by Inch

I think ... do I dare say it aloud? ... that I may be getting better! It's that ephemeral something that I can't quite put my finger on. I wouldn't say that my capacity has increased. It's just that, during the day I feel a little lighter, a little clearer, a little more present. My body is making more sense. When I've exerted myself, I feel worn out, and my rests are a little longer than usual. If I've had a quiet day, I don't feel like resting at all (see my last post!), and I have to force myself to stay in bed for half an hour. A few moments of activity aren't weighing me down for days; I actually feel like I'm bouncing back quicker.

Now, when I say bounce back, I mean back to my new normal. I'm still nowhere near where I was before the summer. However, I no longer feel like one of those rock climbers stuck on a cliff with nowhere to go, fearful that if I move I'll slide further down or even plummet to my death. I'm reaching, and I can see tiny handholds, and there is a slow, steady path ahead of me.


Shelli said...

This is a test -- I think there's been a problem leaving comments. Let me know if it continues to be a problem for you!

Shelli said...

This is another test, using a different account! Let's see if it works now.

Forgetful Girl said...

Yey, it's working! I just wanted to say I have my fingers crossed that you are on the road to recovery- it really sounds like it :) It's fantastic to read that you ' don't feel like resting at all'!!