“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Thursday, December 2, 2010


I believe that God led my husband to me.

Seriously.  The night we met, my husband had already had a date lined up.  But as the day progressed, he started feeling like he shouldn't go.  It was a persistent feeling; he thought maybe it was God trying to warn him that he'd get in an accident or something if he went.  Reluctantly, he called the young lady and canceled their date.  It was the first time he'd ever done something like that.

Now, with no plans for the evening, he had to scramble to find something to do.  Some of his friends were going to a church dance that night in Pacific Beach (San Diego).  They persuaded him to come with them.  He arrived late; it was after 11 o'clock.  He made the rounds, saying hi to the people he knew.  And then he saw me.

He knew the minute he saw me that I would be his wife.  He approached me and asked me to dance.  I said yes.  :)  We danced the rest of the night together.  He asked me for my number, and I wrote it on a gum wrapper and tucked it into his shirt pocket so he wouldn't lose it.

The first few dates we had, we talked like crazy.  He didn't even turn on the radio during the first few dates (and this is a man who loves music).  I had been planning on going up to Utah to go to BYU in a couple of months.  He decided he would quit his job and follow me up there.  I believe he would have followed me to the ends of the world, just to be with me.

It took him a mere three weeks to convince me to marry him.  I changed my plans, stayed home, and we were married December 10, twenty-two years ago.  Since that time, I would say that our marriage has fluctuated between really good and freaking amazing.

Why am I going through this story now?  Well, I have been participating in ItStartsWith.Us 's Love Bomb project.  Each week, I get an e-mail telling me of someone who is going through a hard time.  Then I, along with hundreds of other Love Bomb participants, drop by that person's blog and leave an encouraging comment.

This week, the person receiving these Love Bombs is a young woman who has been married for seven years.  She has two young children, and she is pregnant with her third.  And her beloved husband died just a few weeks ago in a hunting accident.

And suddenly, I'm thinking, I'm OK with CFS.  I don't mind it at all.  I wouldn't care if it continued to progress until I was in bed, like our dear friend Laurel, or until my eyesight failed, like our good friend Kerry.   I would only hope to face it with the courage and hope that they have.

And I'm OK with the financial troubles we've gotten ourselves into.  If we went bankrupt 60 times over, or ended up living in our van, I'd be OK with that.  And even if my kids get into trouble, struggle with drugs or teen pregnancy or failed grades or whatever, I can handle that.  Because I have my husband, that wonderful man who loves me enough to cross any ocean, climb any mountain, or stay by my side through any suffering I may endure.


Renee said...

Okay, between you and Sue I am shedding too many tears this week... Seriously, Shelli, your love for your hubby and his love for you shines like a beacon. I totally understand what you mean about God bringing you together. Joel and I were "prayed together" by my older sister and her dear friend. They met Joel, felt we were meant for each other, and prayed...18 mo. later we married and have been married over 42 yrs. I, too, feel so very blessed to have my husband. I so get it Shelli. I often say, "I know how much God loves me because He brought Joel into my life!"
Thank you for sharing this with is beautiful and caused me to reflect and give thanks too...

Laurel said...

What a beautiful, lovely & touching post, Shelli. Thank you for sharing. It really puts things into perspective. I feel the same about my fiance, even if our relationship must be long distant at this time because of our circumstances. I couldn't get through this without him.

Whenever this illness overwhelms me and I feel like it is too much to bear, I think of him, and all the other loved ones in my life, and I realize how fortunate I really am. Thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

Lovely post, just lovely. I have a good one too!

Alison said...

What a great story, I'm touched :)

Amanda said...

What a beautiful story! I also believe God brought my husband and I together. I got sick 3 months after we married and don't know how I'd survive without his love and support. I don't know how people can manage CFS without wonderful husbands. I just wrote a tribute to my husband on my blog. If you have time, check it out:

kitty said...

wow... now there is a story to put things into perspective. What a moving blog post. x

Unknown said...

Shelli~ This is so incredibly sweet. God brought my husband and me together, too. It's a special-kind of relationship when it's God-ordained like that. You are lucky and know it :) I hope to spend the day relishing my husband!

dominique said...

Woo Hoo! It let me through today so I could post! I hate not being able to leave a comment on your blog!

You wrote, "Since that time, I would say that our marriage has fluctuated between really good and freaking amazing."

I LOVE that!